till friday

i cant wait until friday night so that i can see her i havent seen her in so long i miss her so much and i just want to talk to her and tell her really how i feel and how its going to go down. im hopeing that steph doesnt efeect the way she acts around me because i really want to see the tru her how am i suppose to know if she has changed if she doesnt show me that she has changed. im hopeing that friday her answer will still be yes and if its not it will crush my heart to pieces but like everyone else i will move on. ill just have to wait and see..i just dont really want to do this pep rally and get booed and everything that would be fucked up.
? CA & LB? maybe i dont know.

Travel deep,deep into the red dripping long heavy drops on to the pavement. showing memories through each drop. you become entranced in the sound, the sound of water hitting water drip, drop, drip. blame the pain on your life, hide it under the sheets. you move forward everything is allthe same, you move back, your parents become the one to blame. turn it towards you the sound gets louder drowing the sound of people crying for you. you fall back, not much to do everything is lost. all that you have known is founf to be untrue. lies, lies and more lies fill the sir taking over the space accompained by oxygen. the force gets closer you adredaline gets higher, love of the force invades you mind. watching the pool fill the creases is like a thought out dream stalking you lonely kin. staining the tan deepened surface of the place you feel safe. close your eyes and open your mind just sit and listen. the light draws closer you let go of the edge falling into paradise. until...bam! ligth turns to dark your nightmare of life turns into a miserable eternity you never avoid...your chance to be right is gone controlled by the master himself. saying goodbye forever, you mourv and you weep forever. that is the ETERNAL EMO!!!!

i am now in a relationship again

i have a boyfriend now but i dont really feel confortable just yet because it has been 3 years sense I have been with a guy and I feel unconfortable. i get more and more confortable everyday but today im having second thoughts, i dont really know what to do i dont want to do.....

dont know what to do

these last few months have been crazy,i have a girl tell me that she cant be with me because we wont get to see each other even know we live like 4 blocks from each other, then I've had a girl tell me she only likes me as a friend and no more then that and that i just need to leave it at that, but at that same instance i have had a girl that i have liked for awhile tell me that she likes some playa gangsta bitch from Easton, i know i shouldn't get mad but what am i supposed to do. i love this girl soo much and i want to be with her but it seems like nothing is working out for me anymore. i thought that we had something for a minute there but i guess not. i just cant wait to see her i fell so comfortable around her and i want to be around her all the time if i could. she says she cant wait for me to turn 18 well you know what i got to say to her if she doesn't want to wait for the person she supposedly loves then fine ill get over it. i want both of us to be happy not just me. i know it sounds like I'm only thinking about myself but I'm not, i don't want anything bad to happen to her, i want her to do what she wants to do in life not what i want. she talks about she wants to go to this college in Baltimore but i see she still aint trying to go. i want her to get a job she would love. you know she wants her own restaurant somewhere and i told her why don't she go do it then and she gives the excuse of money. i was like why don't you get help then. however she wants to be stubborn and not listen to anyone.im not worried about it anymore its whatever im just going to do my thing and get the job i want for my life and let her do whatever she wants for her life, she doesnt plan to have me in her life in the future anyways so ill just give up. in love i just dont know what to do anymore.

i tired of the bullshit

right now i have a problem with my love life. i dont have a girlfriend anymore me and her broke up a couple weeks ago again. we are always off and on in how much we want to be with each other. usally the reason why we break up is because we get into arguements and we just cant stand to look at each other anymore so we say "its over" and dont really talk in that way for about 3 weeks and then out of no where we get back together and everything is back to normal. whenever me and my girlfriend end up breaking up i end up having a crush on someone else and try to talk to them. well while we are on that same subject ill tell you about the lastest problem i have gotten myself into. just a couple weeks ago i fell in love with this girl name courtney i dont know what it is about her but i just love her so much and she just can get off my mind. she says that she loves me but she she is still with the guy that is supposedly hurting her everyday , i am tired of her always saying thing and not acually doing what she says but then again its not that easy . this weekend was very fun and i wish that all weekends were that fun i enjoyed it so fun that i didnt want to leave but honestly thats every weekend that i am over there.unfoutunatly i also have a straight girl chrush on this hispanic girl named abby ahe just amazes me so much and i wish i had the courage to go up to her and just ask her if she likes girls in that way so i know if i have a chance or not. everytime i see her i just want to melt but i also do that for someone else too in a way but more for her. i want her so fucking bad but oh well i dont think it is going to happen. she raises her eye brow at me everytime i say something like she likes it and then today at lunch when i was playing around with her talking about that she and her freind were my little helpers and stuff she just made me feel so much better from the pissed off person i was in the morning after talking to courtney. when i feel back on abby and she put her arms on my sides and held me up i wanted to turn around and just tell her that i like her and ask her out on a date or somthing even know she cant really talk english. so as you can see i really do have alot of problems in my life at the moment.knowing me ill probably be back and write more on how i have been with love. probably not even until i acaully get another girlfriend or the same one that i had , i hope abby turns out to like me more then a friend cuz that would make me really happy im just hopeing that she is a sophmore or freshman so i still have a year to find out how she fells wish me luck :}...im out

adults why?

what is with adults they are always trying to be our friends and always trying to act so cool.i dont mean to be mean but unless you know how life is these days for real and know all the shit kids go through these days then your not cool you shouldnt even try.most kids dont like when their parents give the "back in the day"talk were not worried about what happened in your hayday.we are jaut trying to get through our life not yours,so please parents stop trying to bring all your days up we dont care.i also dont like when the parents are always compareing young kids to the way they used to be,we are not the same as you its a diffrent genereation stop trying to make us like yours. i mean i even know that when i get older i might even remember these days in school but im not going to bug my kids about it i know they dont care and i know they have it worst then me probably or maybe they will have it better id never know but i do know that i would never waste their time with my nonescence unless they want to know.

age

is age really a problem when it come to relationships?should that really stop people from being with the person that they love?i dont think so because if you go back to our ansesters they naver cared about age they used to marry off 12 year old girls to rich old men that were like 40 or something.if thats not bad and is still happening in other countries why do people in the united states freak out when people fall in love with people that are just alittle older then them.like me i am in love with this beautiful girl that is 7 years older then me in my mind it doesnt change anything but for my parents it is like its the worst thing i could do in my whole life.i love her so much and i believe that is all that matters.love has no limits or bounderies.we should be free to love who we want not be closed into our own age limit.its some bullshit.i just think society should realize what they are doing to peoples hearts and brains.i believe that will help them realize why people are so depressed and hurting all in side.